Oh Amsterdam...

The city stuck in teenage party land

God damn! Amsterdam is a hard town to figure out. Of course everyone internationally knows the city. It is quite famous for the windmills and cheese and bikes and Anne Frank and Van Gogh and for being a "party town". But underneath all of that, it is hard to really understand. I can understand why, with so many tourists invading the city every day, I would try and hide my "real" self as well. So the city ends up looking like a tourist trap with canals and bridges. The Red Light District is a shopping mall of skin and sex. The Coffee Shops are a shopping mall of drugs and the streets are littered with "British Bachelours" and, well, litter.

The "British Bachelours" are loud and obnoxious. Are they like this all the time? Are they like this back at home? What an annoying bunch of people... loud rude and acting like they rule the world (news flash, its been hundreds of years since you did). They cross over to Amsterdam, partake in the sex and drugs and then go to the hundreds of "British Pubs" that they have in Amsterdam... which leads me to ask; Why didn't you just stay at home if you are just going to do the same things here? I wish more of the cool brittish folk would travel and start fixing up this tarnished reputation.

Bikes... everyone in Amsterdam rides a bike. Bikes rule this town, and they ride like they know it. Cars are afraid of bikes, they stop and cower. Cars will always give the right of way to bikes (as they are outnumbered) and will feel the wrath of the scorned cyclist if they ever step out of line. When the war between cars and bikes begins, this will be the headquarters of the bikes.

If you ever need to go to the bathroom in Amsterdam (assuming that A) you are a man and B) you only need to urinate) then you are in luck. They have mastered and perfected what they call the "Pissoir". It is a urinal on the street that you simply enter and relieve yourself at, it takes but a few minute, they are everywhere and you can piss and watch people on the street at the same time. No doubt it was invented out of necessity after having to many drunk "British Bachelours" fall into the canal.

So we did some workshops and did a show in Amsterdam and everything was over in a flash, and it always is in Amsterdam. You leave wondering if it all really happened. And you leave wondering where the real Amsterdam is, and if next time you go you will get to see a glimpse of the shy Amsterdam that hides underneath and behind the out going tourist trap party animal.

Next time maybe...